I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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