dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
