what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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