One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She's JV to your varsity
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
