were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
