my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
