But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
