I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
