My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Send help, water and tortillas.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
