Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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