we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
