By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
