the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
