there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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