It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
