i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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