He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
