hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
