What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Sext me about skeletons
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I deserve this hangover.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
