i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize