the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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