it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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