i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
