I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
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