i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
