he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
