I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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