I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
