she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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