She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
