Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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