how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
