Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize