Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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