I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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