i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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