Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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