my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
