Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
