Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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