U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
