i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
pray to the hookup gods
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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