i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
