We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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