She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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