I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
