carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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