Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
