You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
