i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
