The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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