Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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