I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The dick lei will go down in squad history
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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