wake up i wanna do it froggy style
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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