She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he thought i was a dude.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
