are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think my vagina is haunted
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
organizing the empties. That sober.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
