I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
