Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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